Sunday, October 28, 2012

Your Creed Of Care: How To Dig For Treasure In People (Without Getting Buried Alive) by Author, Caroline McGraw

This is an excerpt from Caroline McGraw's book for caregivers, Your Creed Of Care:  How To Dig For Treasure In People (WithoutGetting Buried Alive). To receive your complimentary copy of the book via email, visit Caroline's blog for caregivers, A Wish Come Clear.

Pitfall #7:  Holding On

I’m not a parent, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be:  letting a babysitter watch your kids, letting them go off to school, to college, to the wider world. Add to that a child with a physical or intellectual disability, and the letting-go gets even more difficult. To let go, to trust another person with your child or sibling? It may seem impossible. Yet, it’s also extremely valuable, both for you and the person you love and care for.

I remember riding with my parents the first time we dropped my brother Willie off for a respite weekend. He’d be spending two days with a group in a local hotel, going to game nights and swimming in the pool. I knew that Willie would have a great time. Even so, I felt a rush of protectiveness and near-panic as he exited the car. I kept feeling a need to check on him, to make sure he was all right. I could tell that my mom felt this need even more than I did. Though she’d met the staff and talked to my brother extensively and prepared long lists of Willie’s routines and double-checked his food, clothes and medication supplies, she still felt anxious. She’d done all she could, but it all felt so insignificant as he disappeared from our sight. We all wanted to hold on to him as we drove away.

After that experience, I understand why one woman I know literally left the country after her brother came to L’Arche [a faith-based non-profit organization that creates homes where people with and without intellectual disabilities share life in community, where I served as a caregiver for five years]. She knew that, if she stayed within driving distance, she’d be sure to meddle with his  care. As my mother did for my brother, this woman made extensive preparations to ensure that her brother would be well cared-for. However, when the moment to let go of her brother’s care came, she felt a strong temptation to hold on.

I’ve met other families who have held on to their children tightly over the years. They continue to treat their adult sons and daughters as children. These parents are holding on to their role as primary caregivers, even as their sons and daughters are trying to make a new home and new life for themselves. It’s always difficult to watch this dynamic, and even more challenging to be a care provider in the middle of it. The adult child in this situation has a choice: they can either rebel against their parents’ holding on, or comply with it...and feel guilty for feeling stifled. Most people choose the latter.

To parents, it can seem as though holding on in this way will keep their child safe. When I watched my brother walk into the hotel, I wanted nothing more than a promise that he would be all right. I
wanted a guarantee, even though I know better. There are no guarantees. We can only know that, by holding on too tightly to those we love, we are not loving them as we should. As Martha Beck writes in Steering By Starlight: “The goal of real love is always to set the beloved free.”

We cannot wait for a time when we feel perfectly safe to open our hands.


Caroline McGraw is a would-be "childhood paleontologist" who digs for treasure in people. She writes about finding meaning in the most challenging relationships at A Wish Come Clear. You can also follow her on twitter @AWishComeClear.

Special Diets and Recipes

Dear Readers,

     I have been wanting to start a page for special diets and recipes for a while. I decided that there was no better time than the present! I will be researching and consulting with friends over the next few months. If you have, or someone you know has, a favorite recipe that you would like to share with us, please e-mail with the details. Please be sure to let me know in what type of special diet that your recipe would be categorized. I would also like to give credit to each person for their submission, linking it back to their website or blog. I look forward to hearing from you! 
     You can view the future Special Diets and Recipes page even though it is awaiting all of the great Gluten-Free, Casen-Free, GFCF-combination and other special diet recipes that we hope to receive. I want to thank you in advance for your patience and understanding as I attempt to compile, categorize and post all recipe submissions!                

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Tis the season…for giveaways?

     I am sharing this giveaway that originated by Shelley over at "Slightly Off Kilter". I have to say I like the reason behind it...everyone needs a little extra holiday money! Head on over to her blog to enter for your chance to win a $50 Amazon gift card!!

If you win, you decide what you do with it!

     Once you get through entering the giveaway, come back and browse the autism resources that we have made available to special needs families. If you know someone that has a child on the autism spectrum, please share our blog with them.

Thank you for your support!

"Hot Cakes with Dash" ~ Flapjack Fundraiser

You and your family are cordially invited to enjoy a
hot pancake breakfast with Dash and his friends
Saturday, October 27th 2012
4825 NW Expressway
Oklahoma City, OK
7:30am - 10:00am

Ticket price: $7.00 per person*
*plate of pancakes, sausage and a drink (no soda)

Please visit the Events section on
for more details about this event and to buy tickets!
Tickets can also be purchased on the event day at
the AutismOklahoma table set up at the Applebee's location.

We look forward to seeing you there!

TODAY ONLY!! Don't Miss Out ... FREE e-Book from Jules!!

Dear Reader,

Will you ever forget?
Will you ever forget the day you were told you had to give up gluten? Or the day you realized on your own that gluten was making you ill?

Many of us felt overwhelmed. Some of us felt alone. Others: depressed, scared or downright angry.

Then somewhere along the line, someone gave an encouraging word; they assured us things weren't as bad as they seemed. They focused us on the positive (that we'd feel better). Then they directed us to a website, or to a bookstore or support group for information and encouragement.

Today, you can be that encouraging, supportive, informative someone. With a simple mouse click, you can be the light at the end of a friend's or family member's tunnel. You can be the source of hope and information that gets someone going on this journey we all share.

Jules has made it her life's work to inspire, encourage and inform people who want to live gluten free. She arms them with information about every aspect of their lives, to ensure their confidence and their success.
Jules' New-to-Gluten-Free e-Book (regularly priced at $12.95) is an indispensable 37-page resource that guides people through:
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  •        Planning meals
  •        Eating out
  •        Being a guest in someone's home
  •        Hosting others
  •        Dating and other social occasions
Then, she jump-starts things with a 3-day fast-start meal plan...with healthy, delicious, simple meals that build confidence and encourage healing.
Jules' New-to-Gluten Free e-Book
Jules gives a 60-second overview of her
New-to-Gluten-Free e-Book. 
Then, please, forward this email to someone you know who could use all that Jules imparts. Simply click the link below and enter one or more email addresses. Chances are, your recipients will never forget the role you played in their gluten-free journey.

  Don't Miss Out on this Great Opportunity that is ONLY Available TODAY!!


Author/Creator of blog "Nathan's Voice"

*Follow Jules on Facebook & Twitter.   
*Subscribe to Jules' blog for even more fun recipes & cooking ideas!
And the fine print...
          This offer is available for customers living in the continental United States only.  Please contact us at (877) 236-3940 with any questions.  
          All Jules Gluten Free™ products are allergy-free (free of the top 8 allergens including, wheat, nuts, dairy, and soy), are GIG certified gluten free, and Kosher certified.  
          Jules Gluten Free™ All Purpose Flour is Patent Pending.  All rights reserved.

Monday, October 22, 2012

2012 Oklahoma Statewide #Autism Conference with #TonyAttwood as Keynote Speaker

     I had the privilege of being able to attend the Oklahoma Statewide Autism Conference and hearing Tony Attwood as today's Keynote Speaker on "Asperger's Syndrome". It was a great presentation and I am very thankful that my local non-profit,, sent me to the conference. I recently accepted the apprenticeship of the Support Group Leader where I am working with the current Support Group Leader to "learn the ropes". When I wasn't absorbing the information during Dr. Attwood's presentation, I used every available moment to gather resources from the many information booths to list on my autism blog and offer to the families at the next support group meeting. 

     I enjoyed attending last year's conference but, I was much more prepared for the stimulus and had a personal agenda for wanting to attend this year. Nathan, as most of you know from following us, has Asperger's Syndrome. He is in fourth grade, is having difficulty transitioning when rotating classes and is prone to sharing his unfiltered thoughts when frustrated...which is almost all of the time! I am hoping what I learned, from Dr. Attwood's presentation, that I will be able to come up with a viable solution to help Nathan and his teachers have a more productive school year. I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting and following us on Nathan's autism journey!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Blog Hop

This is an update of the Blog Hop so that everyone has access to the new resource links. 
Thank you for your patience and understanding!                                       Lorrie

A dear friend of mine, and someone whom I admire, has started this blog hop for any and all blogs relating to allergies, asthma, autism and itchy skin. This is for parents helping their children cope and for adults with any of the above conditions.
No rules, just links. AND Every month, I hope to add more blogs to the list!
If you want to join, please add a comment below and I’ll add you. I just ask that you reciprocate the favor and add my link to your blog as well. And if you feel inspired, please continue the blog hop on your site. The more connections we make, the better informed we’ll all be.
I’ve started the list with a few bloggers I’ve connected with, feel free to join in!
Let the FUN begin!!
1. ScratchMeNot                                                10. Autism Cafe              

2. Itchy Little World                                         11. Pathways Developmental Learning Center  

3. Eczema Blues                                                  12.  Autistic Globetrotter                         

4. Frugal Food Allergies                                  13. 30 Days of Autism

5. Thriving with Autism                                   14. Autism & Asperger's Syndrome

6. Aspie Writer                                                    15. Sharonsweb Autism Foundation

7. Caden's Tale                                                     16. Special Education Advisor

8. Aspie Kid

9. Uninspired Revolution

Sunday, October 14, 2012

FREE Workshop: Social Skills and Applied Behavior Analysis

ABA-OK will be offering a FREE Workshop: Social Skills and Applied Behavior Analysis. 
Where: Good Shepherd Catholic School at Mercy located at 13404 N. Meridian Ave, Oklahoma City, OK 73120
When: Friday, October 19th from 6:00pm-7:30pm
There is no charge for this workshop! 
This workshop is geared toward families that are interested in developing social skills for their child with autism or other developmental and/or learning disabilities.
Pre-registration is strongly recommended to ensure a seat. 
To register or if you have questions, please contact Patty Nuhfer at 405-458-0511 or by e-mail at

Monday, October 1, 2012

"Filtering Out What Has Had Nathan Over-Stimulated At School"

     The last several weeks, Nathan has had an extremely difficult time rotating classes for subjects at school in the fourth grade. Everything around him has been over-stimulating for him and keeping him from following his classmates as they rotate from class to class. If he is unable to sit through the classroom instruction in each class, he isn't getting the necessary information to complete the assigned classwork or homework.

     Some of the parents at our last support group meeting shared about how noise reduction headphones had  helped their children. When my husband and I took the boys to Academy yesterday, we picked up a set to see if it would help Nathan. During our 4th grade teacher's team meeting this morning, we were all busy going over the schedule for the week while someone was making copies on a small printer across the room. I noticed the different noises and thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to see how well the noise reduction headsets worked. I was amazed at how they filtered out the background noise and left the voice of my son's teacher audible. Explaining to her how I wanted to help Nathan block out the stimulus that was irritating him, we decided to give Nathan a chance to show us how it works.

     Nathan didn't bring the headset when he rotated to my Science class right before lunch but, he wore them while he worked on Reading, Social Studies and Math after lunch. It was only when he took them off to take a break that he needed to visit Lab for a little while before gathering up his homework at the end of the day. I think that Nathan will be able to transition a little easier from one class to another while wearing his new noise reduction headsets. Only time will tell...