Sunday, September 23, 2012

My Experience With Respite Workers

Please welcome Michelle as she shares more about her experiences with us. We appreciate her taking the time and admire her for sharing something so personal so that we might be more aware and protective of our own children. Feel free to leave a comment below the post for Michelle!

To all special needs people and their families and others that want to learn and understand:

I would like to tell you what you should know and what you should think about before you let any workers from the state or anywhere else into your lives so you do not have to go through what I did and  what I am still going through even now. The reason I am still going through this now is because I still think about both things a lot and get pictures in my head still quite a bit. These things happened about maybe 12 years ago and people think that they shouldn't still bother me but they do and always will because they were very bad and a lot of stuff that happens now reminds me of this and also what happened in School but that is a whole different story. The state does help in many other ways though. Now I will tell you what happened with the workers. Well one day we met this worker that was really nice and we were happy with her and we thought it was really going to work out with her. I also thought she was my for real friend but it turned out that she was NOT AT ALL. The first time she came we met her down at grandmas house. The first time was just to meet her and we did not go anywhere. She brought her car this time. This time mom stayed with me. Then the next time she came we met at grandmas again this time she brought the state van. Mom had left me alone with her because she was supposed to and when mom went away she was very trusting that she was going to be nice to me but she WAS NOT AT ALL the next time. We started out inside grandmas house and then we went out on the porch to sit because grandma had just yelled at her. She was really nice this day also so I was even more trusting but She was talking on her phone to somebody and said the f***ing grandma just yelled at me only she said the whole word. Grandma yelled at her because she was in the way and grandma was  starting to loose her mind and was not doing good at all because she had just fallen a week or two before that she was hardly walking. Since the fall she just kept on getting worse and worse. Grandma only started to act very very nasty that year even before the fall. That day we did go out in the van just for a ride because she wanted to get away from grandma. Everything was fine then. We went to get gas at the DMV because that is where the state workers get gas. She also went to the bank down that way I never want to go to those places again with anybody because it reminds me of her. The next time she came is when it all started. She brought her car again and we went somewhere again. She wanted to go to a restaurant so I thought it was going to be nice so I was happy  and once again  too trusting. When we got to the restaurant she did not like the way my hair was because it was not fixed the way she wanted it to be. It was just down and straight like always but she wanted it up so she tried to brush it and fix it like that but I would not let her because I do not like people to fix my hair or even touch it. She got mad and THREW the brush back in the car and it was a brush that she had in her car and I did not know what it was used for and for all I knew it could have been  a dog brush or used for something else. She was doing this while we were standing outside of the car. Then we went into the restaurant and sat down I was nervous the whole time even though she didn't do anything that bad THEN. When we got our food she started eating it but I did not feel well so I was looking sick and not eating. When we got back in the car she said THANKS FOR SPOILING MY LUNCH the whole time she was saying this she was flicking my leg and looking in the back  where I was sitting instead of at the road and she was driving VERY crazy zig zagging all over the road on a very skinny road in the second lane. There were 2 or 3 lanes on her side of the road she could go in. While she was doing all that she was saying SO WHEN DO YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOUR ASS NOW OR LATER. She was saying all of that in a very mean and mad sounding voice. It was a good thing I was sitting in the back because I do not even want to think about what could have happened if I was sitting in front with her. Then when she was done doing all that she drove to her house either that or her boyfriends house or they both lived there. She pulled over on the road in front of the house and started beeping her horn for her boyfriend to come out to kick my ass but he was not home luckily. Then since he wasn't home she took me to the park and parked in the back parking lot and said so does this look like a good place for me kick your ass. She was going to take me out back in the woods and do it. So since I was very scared I reached over the seat and gave her a hug because that was all I could think of at the time to stop her from taking me in the woods and beating me or doing whatever she was going to do. When I hugged her she said is that your way of saying your sorry. She also said this with a lot of anger in her voice. Then I finally got to go home. I really thought I was never going to see mom again I was so scared. When I got home I went crazy by having melt downs really bad so mom figured out that something went wrong when I was with her mom wasn't really sure what though at the time. Mom called her up and said we no longer need your services and she said why not and then she said Michelle spoiled my lunch and mom said she doesn't feel like eating sometimes when she is getting her period and her voice went way down and she said oh I didn't know. 

Then I got a new worker later on I thought she would be different like better but she was NOT at all. She also came to visit us first before she started working with me only this time at our house. At this time she was working with another special needs boy. He was trying to get in our house. He went up our stairs and started wiggling the door knob but mom had locked it before she came out. I did not know why he was trying so hard to get in but I do now after I had been with her. It was because he was trying to get away from her because she was probably VERY MEAN to him too. The next time she came I went in her car because I was trying to give her a chance and tried to trust again after the first worker. She took me to her house and when we got out I was kind of scared to go in her house because I didn't know what was going to happen to me because I thought it was a little weird that she wanted to go to her house. She grabbed my wrist and yanked me so hard that I almost fell because I wasn't coming and while yanking me she said COME ON YOU  F***ING RETARD only she said the whole word and she said it with a lot of anger in her voice while gritting her teeth. When we got in the house I sat at her table for a little bit with her dog while she sat way across the room and not at the table with us. Her dog had come over to me I think because he could sense I was feeling scared about being there he just stood there and let me pat him. Then I had to go upstairs with her while she sat at her computer for a very LONG time. She turned on the fan because it was so hot up there. It was so hot because it was a very tiny room with a lot of stuff in it which made it even tinier. She sat with her back turned to me the whole time and she had made the fan so it wouldn't  turn so it would be on just her and had me sit away from it so I could not feel it at all. Sweat was just pouring off of my head. The whole time I was with her she did NOT even spend time with me and hardly said a word except for the time that she said that swear word. When it was time for me to go home she turned the radio up in the car probably as loud as it could go and I think she even put bass on and she also lit up a cigarette with all the windows up tight except hers might have been cracked just enough for her to flick her ashes out. All the smoke was going in the back where I was sitting and she was driving very very fast on our road which is only supposed to be 25 miles an hour. When we got home mom was outside to greet us and she asked how our day was and she lied to mom and said oh we had a very nice day we went to the park and had a picnic which NEVER happened. mom believed her at the time and said oh isn't that nice.when Mom found out that was not true she had her services stopped too but I don't remember if she called her or the company she worked for. This was the second time that mom had stopped services so the people that mom had to deal with that worked for that company were VERY VERY mad at mom because the boss did not like mom at all and was VERY VERY mean to her and did not want to hear that their workers did anything wrong. At that time there was also a lot more bad stuff going on that was not moms fault but they made it look like it was so they took her to court for it anyways I can't tell you everything that she said or did to mom because it will take to long right now. They just did NOT care or listen because at that time I did not have any way to talk like no computers or F.C so it was moms word against theirs and of course I don't even know if those workers even got in trouble for it.  They thought I was retarded and not able to tell people things so they thought they could get away with it but what they did not know is that I could sign and besides mom could tell when something went wrong because she is my mom. So now because of all this  stuff that happened I don't know who I can trust or who is just playing my friends or who are my REAL friends. So now this might help you to understand why your kid might act upset when they are done with their workers or others. If they are acting upset please please try to find out why and hopefully you can get people to listen and believe you and if your kid has a way to talk hopefully they listen and believe them too. All this stuff that happened is hard for special needs people but especially hard for autistic people. If your thinking something BAD is going on you might want to find a private one like we did. I now have a new one that has been our friend for 20 + years. I only go with him once a month if that. It took me so long to tell you all of this because I wanted to tell you everything so you and your kid does not have to suffer Like we did. PLEASE be careful who is working with your kid. 

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