Volunteering at "Feed The Children" Benefits NonProfit Organization & Student

Since the beginning of June, my youngest son, Nathan, and I have been volunteering 1-2 times a week at the Feed the Children Distribution Center in Oklahoma City, OK to help them send food and essentials to families across the United States. Nathan has almost finished his thirty-two hours of community service through Feed the Children that he will need to complete his Senior Capstone Project as a Senior at Southeast High School. If you live in the greater Oklahoma City area and your high school senior needs #HighSchoolCommunityServiceHours for his/her #SeniorCapstoneProject, please contact Meagan Taylor by calling (405)949-5168 to learn more about how YOU and YOUR TEENAGE SON or DAUGHTER can begin volunteering with Feed the Children to make a difference in your community and across the nation!

We Are Still Waiting For The Insurance to Settle Our Claim On Nate's 1st Car

For those of you who are not aware of what happened to both of our teenage sons last Wednesday, let me bring you up to speed! My husband and I spent the last six months looking hard to find our youngest son a car to drive himself back and forth to the technical school and high school this fall. We finally found a vehicle that our youngest son, Nathan, would be able to operate and proud to drive. We came up with a substantial down payment, financed the balance, and Nathan was finally able to take his 1st car home the Friday before last. It was a beautiful/handsome 2008 Automatic Ford Mustang GT until it was hit and totaled in an accident by another driver last Wednesday! The driver of the truck made a left turn into oncoming traffic in front of our slightly older son, who was driving his brother's car, deploying both front seat airbags. Both of our sons were in the new car coming back from working out at the VASA gym near our home, less than a mile from the house when the accident happened. Thankfully, neither one of our guys were injured. They were both considerably shaken up afterwards, but are both doing fine now.

I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to ask for your assistance in locating another Ford Mustang GT owned by an individual, with as low of mileage as possible, and under $10,000 in the state of Oklahoma. Nathan was becoming discouraged before we found the 2008 Silver Automatic Ford Mustang GT that we only had for five days, and I want to locate another vehicle for him as soon as possible! If you, or anyone you know, has information about a Ford Mustang GT with an automatic transmission that is available for purchase in the state of Oklahoma (preferrably by an individual), please leave a message for me in the comment section below this post. The more pictures and information that you have to share with me, as well as how I can contact the owner of the vehicle will help us make an informed decision about which car to buy. I know that this is an unusual request presented in a blog post, but this momma would like to find a replacement car for her son as quickly as I can after the insurance has settled the claim on his totaled 2008 Ford Mustang GT!

I appreciate the time that you spent reading this post and any assistance that you can provide our family in locating a replacement car for Nathan. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future if you have knowledge of such a car, multiple photos of the interior and exterior of the vehicle, and contact information for the seller. 

Thank you, again, for your time!

Respectfully,

Lorrie Servati

Creator & Author of "Nathan's Voice",

as well as Mom to Vincent & Nathan

Just Say With Me "I Will Survive 2020" Breathing In/Out "I Will Survive 2020"

This year has been full of so many changes to which we have had to adjust our expectations. It started around Spring Break, then we were required to shelter at home and only go out if we needed to pick up necessities. Our Easter traditions were then drastically altered, just as our Mother's Day and Father's Day celebrations were during these uncertain times. High School and College Seniors across the nation experienced a much different Graduation Ceremony than students in the past. High school students, like my son Vincent, who received a virtual graduation got to hear their names announced in a YouTube video that they had to watch at home. Some high school students were lucky enough to be in a district that will be holding a delayed traditional high school graduation ceremony where they will be able to walk across the stage to receive their diplomas.

Parents began working from home while their children finished off the 2019-2020 school year online through hastily-created educational platforms designed by each school district, and have been spending their summer social distancing away from their friends. We then experienced a Memorial Day and a 4th of July that is much different than in the past, and it could be some time before we can eventually reclaim our most cherished traditions of celebrating with extended family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. We are now supposed to send our children back to the brick-and-mortar schools wearing face masks so that they will be able to learn in a traditional educational setting. Unfortunately, their attention will be on how they look in their face masks, and not on protecting themselves from the virus that has had them isolated from their friends, dependent on technology to connect with them, and with the desire to go shopping at the mall!

It is not my intent to pass judgment on parents whether they choose to keep their children home to learn online through virtual means provided by their local school district, or to send their children back to learn in a traditional educational setting. It should be a personal decision and one that involves considering how best to protect their family's health. With some parents transitioning from their work-at-home offices back to a similar, but not the same, office workspace, it will be challenging for them to keep up with how well their children transition into the upcoming school year. School days will start and end later due to guidelines and restrictions that will allow schools to implement safe social distancing protecting their students, teachers, and support staff. Until parents find a way to coordinate these changes, it will temporarily create unexpected chaos between parent schedules, those of school-age children, and other family obligations.

We can and will survive these uncertain times. Our attitude and flexibility towards these changes will affect how well our children adjust and adapt to these changes. If we choose to accept the changes with a positive attitude and flexibility, the experience will prove to be a smooth transition for us and everyone around us. We have to identify what we do and do not have control and accept those situations in which we cannot control the outcome. It took me many years to realize my limitations when it came to how well I could control the outcome of situations. We cannot afford to waste energy and worry about something that we cannot change! 

My two teenage sons were recently in an accident. The other driver hit my son's car hard enough that both of the front airbags deployed. We had only had the car for five days, were waiting to receive the title so that we could put tags on it, had not even made the first payment on it, and the insurance company has totaled my youngest son's first vehicle. As much as I would like for the events of a few days ago to not have happened, I know that I cannot change or control every situation. Even though my sons did not get injured in the accident, they jointly experienced the destruction of a piece of machinery that could have taken their lives is something that they will each remember for a long time. I would have done anything to prevent that from happening to them!

To help my family survive what 2020 has dealt us, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to ask for your help. It took my husband and me at least six months to locate a vehicle that our youngest son, Nathan, would be able to operate and proud to drive. Nathan was beginning to become discouraged before we found the car that we only had for five days, and I want to locate another vehicle for him as soon as possible! If you, or anyone you know, has information about a Ford Mustang GT with an automatic transmission that is available for purchase in the state of Oklahoma, please leave a message for me in the comment section below this post. The more pictures and information that you have to share with me, as well as how I can contact the owner of the vehicle will help us make an informed decision about which car to buy. I know that this is an unusual request presented in a blog post, but this momma would like to find a replacement car for her son as quickly as possible!

I appreciate the time that you spent reading this post and any assistance that you can provide our family. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future if you have knowledge of such a car, multiple photos of the interior and exterior of the vehicle, and contact information for the seller. Thank you, again, for your time!

Respectfully,

Lorrie Servati

Creator & Author of "Nathan's Voice",

as well as Mom to Vincent & Nathan

Recognizing & Cultivating Your Superpowers As A Parent - Part 4

This is the final of four posts that originated from the Practical Parenting Tips section of an article that I wrote for an online parenting community several years ago. I have chosen the acronym FLY to wrap up this four-part series on how parents can use their superpowers to help their children. By connecting with other autism families in the community, parents are able to get the support that they need so that are prepared to help guide their children's journey through the spectrum.

Find an autism support group to receive and share with other families. There is something to be said about having other parents who have children with similar needs share and exchange information about available services and educational rights. Support groups can be an excellent resource when it comes to finding out which therapists, Special Education Case Managers, and Advocates are best qualified to meet the needs of your child.

Locate respite care for your child by asking other families about local resources. You will want to find area Respite Care Services for your child. Ask about qualifications, experience, and for references before making an informed decision about which respite care is best for your family. You have a right to be able to have some time to yourself or with your spouse but you will also want to make sure that your child is being taken care of by someone who is qualified. 

You and your family are a priority; make sure that you include family time on your schedule! It is important for your family to get together for fun and stress-free activities, but sometimes that is easier said than done!! Keep it as simple as possible, be somewhat flexible on behavior, and have FUN!!! Our favorite family activity is watching a movie together and having a snack that we enjoy. Since I wrote the original article, our family's favorite game is now "What Should You Do?" a game of consequences. We have even started creating our own questions and consequence cards!

I hope that all of the information I have shared with you will assist you in using your superpowers to help your child. The full article, Autism "How-To" Guide For Parents has so much more to offer, if you are interested! If you enjoyed reading this post, please #share it in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you for your time and continued support of my efforts to raise #AutismAwareness throughout the year, not just in April!!

Your friend,

Lorrie

Recognizing & Cultivating Your Superpowers As A Parent - Part 3

I am sharing the third post in a four-part series that is originally from the Practical Parenting Tips section of an article that I wrote for an online parenting community about eight years ago. I have chosen to use the acronym ENACT for this particular post. This image depicts a team comprised of female and male superheroes who are ready to use their superpowers to the people in their community. YOU and I are also superheroes, but it is not a superhero outfit or a cape that empowers us to use our superpowers for good and save the day from disaster! 

It is up to YOU to do the following:
Expand on what interests your child. What are your child's strengths and weaknesses? If your child is particularly good at something, find a way to use what he or she is interested in an good at to focus on helping him or her to make progress in other areas that need help. You can make a game of it! My child used to love Pokémon when he was younger and when he would have difficulty with something, I would use Pokémon stickers, trading cards, and other related items as a tool to help him focus and stay on task.

Negotiate the best routine for your child. Before the nationwide order to shelter at home, you may have had a routine that worked for your child and your family. That schedule was most likely turned upside-down and inside-out! Children are trying to complete school through distance learning, therapy sessions are being conducted via telehealth, and parents are working from home. It may take a while to find a routine that works best for your child, and that routine may change according to your child's needs. Be patient; the schedule will eventually find a rhythm that meets the needs of your child.

Assist your child in repetitive learning. If your child is having difficulty mastering a specific skill, you will need to find a creative way to help him or her achieve this skill. Think "outside the box" to provide your child with a simple modification to help him or her complete an activity or task that he or she might have not been able to accomplish otherwise. The best way to begin is by taking small, repetitive steps to assist your child in accomplishing his or her goals. Try not to overthink or complicate the process; sometimes, the simplest solution to the problem is just waiting for us to relax and find it!

Coordinate productive activities for your child. Choose a variety of activities that will provide your child with the chance to improve specific skills. For example, if your child needs improvement with motor skills, playing Hokey Pokey or Simon Says will be fun and educational. Your child may need to work on how to hold and use scissors to cut art projects out. You can plan a family collage or a special gift for someone and ask your child to help you with the project. If your child has difficulty with matching everyday objects to one another, you can cut out pictures from magazines and play a game by grouping flowers with gardens, appliances with kitchens, silverware with dining room tables, etc. Enjoy this time with your child! 

Transform behavior with positive reinforcement. I have found that my youngest child responds to frequent small rewards and praise, especially when he chooses the correct or appropriate behavior in a difficult situation. It can be a hug or a tickle preceded by verbal praise, special sticker related to something that interests him or her, a small piece of candy that he or she likes, or a short break so that they can enjoy time on their tablet or iPad. It is important to give your child an explanation of why he or she is receiving the reward. This will help your child to understand that this specific positive behavior is what you expect and appreciate.

I hope that you will use your superpowers to help your child to learn to regulate his or her superpowers. The full article, Autism "How-To" Guide For Parents offers so much more! If you enjoyed reading this post, please #share it in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you for your time and continued support of my efforts to raise #AutismAwareness throughout the year, not just in April!!

Your friend,

Lorrie

Recognizing and Cultivating Your Superpowers As A Parent - Part 2

Tonight's post is the second in a four part series that is originally from the Practical Parenting Tips section of the article that I wrote for an online parenting community a few years ago. The acronym for this particular post is SOAR. You most likely recognize Woody and Buzz Lightyear, the heroes from the Toy Story movie series, pictured on the left soaring through the sky and high above everything to get back to their owner Andy. 

As everyday superheroes, we find various ways to rise above the obstacles that we encounter throughout our daily routine. What might work for us in one situation will not always work for us in another; incentives and consequences alike. As parents, we have to be extraordinarily creative to stay one step ahead of what we might encounter at any given moment!

You need to Search for signs of non-verbal communication that your child may be using to tell you how he or she feels. Watching your child's facial expressions, listening to the particular sounds he or she makes, and how he or she uses hand signals when tired, hungry, or frustrated will help you recognize when your child is communicating his or her needs. Your child can tell you what he or she wants or needs without saying it in words. Pay attention and you will learn to pick up on your child's non-verbal signals.

You should watch to Observe the reason behind the behavior that you want your child to stop displaying when not getting his or her way. When your child gets upset or begins to act out, it could be because he or she has been feeling misunderstood or ignored. Is acting out your child's way of trying to get your attention? Consider that your child could be frustrated with you because you are not picking up on their non-verbal signals.

It is YOUR responsibility to Arrange fun and simple playtime for your child. Autism is a diagnosis and just part of who your child is. Remember that your child is still a kid. Everyone needs to take some time off from school, therapy, and even work! Play is a very important part of being able to cope with our daily schedules. Choose ways to have fun together with activities that you both enjoy. Spending stress-free time with your child will be a beneficial part in learning to relax and enjoy each other's company whenever possible.

You should use a journal to help you Record and Remember all possible triggers in your child's behavior. Many things can serve as triggers to a child with autism. Children with autism can have hypersensitivity or the opposite - hyposensitivity to certain sights, sounds, smells, movements and things that they come in contact with. The same stimulus can lead to positive behavior in some children and trigger disruptive behavior in others. It is our responsibility to understand what affects our children, give them a sense of security, and prevent the undesirable situations we can avoid. 

I hope that you will now be able to use your superpowers to help your child to learn to regulate his or her superpowers. You can access the full article Autism "How-To" Guide For Parents if you would like to read more! If you enjoyed reading this post, please #share it in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you for your time and continued support of my efforts to raise #AutismAwareness throughout the entire year, not just in April!!

Recognizing and Cultivating Your Superpowers As A Parent - Part 1

In an effort to bring you the information from the Practical Parenting Tips section of the lengthy and informative article that I wrote for an online parenting community, I have chosen to present it to you in four shorter posts starting with this one in the form of an acronym: CAPE

In the image above, a female and male are shown as everyday people whose shadows insinuate that they each have skills or superpowers to help other people. Regardless of who we are, or what our strengths and weaknesses are, we can all be superheroes, and we do not have to wear a superhero outfit or a cape to use our superpowers for good. 

You can start by Creating a consistent environment as you possibly can for your child. Help your child to create inner consistency so that he or she can develop the confidence and the ability to adapt to various environments, social situations, and with different people who they may come into contact with through daily or occasional interactions. This is the best way to reinforce learning and encourage your child to transfer or generalize what he or she learns from one environment to another.

You will want to Avoid unwanted disruptions in your child's routine. Your child needs a structured schedule or routine for them to function at his or her best. It's important to offer your child a consistent schedule for eating, therapy sessions, going to school, playtime, naps, and bedtime, as well as build an alternative schedule for occasional outings such as visiting relatives, going to church, or venturing out into the community to do errands.

You need to remember Praise your child for displaying positive behavior, regardless of how big or small! Reinforcing good behavior and recognizing when your child learns a new skill is important to his or her progress. Make a conscious effort to tell your child every time why he or she is receiving praise. This will help your child to understand what the reward is for and teach them to repeat those specific positive behaviors.

Your next responsibility is to Ensure proper boundaries for your child. It is up to you to designate a specific area in your home where your child knows that he or she can relax, feel safe, and have solitude. Coordinating and setting up clear boundaries is essential to helping your child understand which areas are off limits to him or her. Child-proofing your house is something you should consider, especially if your child has frequent meltdowns or has injured his/herself in the past.

I hope that what I have shared with you will assist you in using your superpowers to help your child to learn to regulate his or her superpowers. The full article, Autism "How-To" Guide For Parents has so much more to offer, if you are interested! If you enjoyed reading this post, please #share it in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you for your time and continued support of my efforts to raise #AutismAwareness throughout the year, not just in April!!

Your friend,

Lorrie

Make Sure to Nurture the Relationship That You Have with Your Spouse

Your child is a blessing and having a child with autism will undoubtedly broaden your horizons; however, you may want to consider that the time, financial costs, physical and emotional demands, and logistical complexities associated with raising a child with autism can translate into stress on the relationship you have with your spouse. Staying connected as a couple can be challenging, but each of YOU can make it happen by showing your support for each other!

Of all of the relationships that we have, we need to make sure to nurture the one we have with our spouse. Remember to communicate and spend time with him or her to let them know how important they are to you. Be sure to let your spouse know how much you appreciate their support. Also, try to set aside time for a weekly or monthly "date night" for just the two of you. This will go a long way in communicating how much you value your spouse, as a partner and a parent!

Another way that you can show your spouse that you value him or her is to put your phone down while spending time with them. No one wants to have his or her partner on their phone while trying to connect with him or her. Make your time together "phone free" so that you can focus on each other. After spending quality time with your spouse, each of you can always return phone calls, reply to text messages, and play games on your mobile phones. Do your part in staying connected as a couple!

Off to spend time with my loving husband...

Your friend,

Lorrie

#Autism Awareness Should Be All Year Long, Not Just in the Month of April

If there is one thing that I want people to remember me for, it is that I am the Parent and Advocate of a child with #Autism. I want to be known for how well that I was able to achieve awareness in my surrounding community, as well as how successful I was in raising a similar amount of #AutismAwareness around the world through social media platforms. I knew that I love being able to #share what I have learned over the years, but I did not realize how much I had missed writing so that I could share that knowledge and experience with everyone!

I have had the pleasure of writing articles and contributing to several online parenting communities and special needs sites over the last decade, one of which is Special Happens. Please take a few minutes to read my article in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth and #share it with someone you know who may benefit from reading it themselves. Thank you for your continued support!

Your friend, 

Lorrie

Recipe for a Homemade Balloon Stress Ball - A Great Family Project!

A stress ball is a tool that can be used to help calm nerves, anger, anxiety, and more in both adults and children. Stress balls can be used by individuals at home, school, work, in the car, or whenever needed to help relieve stress. I thought it would be a great project to share since the majority of us are either working from home (WFH) or distance learning (DL) for school to finish the current academic year.

This is an easy project that you can complete in under an hour, depending how many members of your family will be making a stress ball. You most likely already have most of the items that you need in your home, too!

Homemade Balloon Stress Ball

For each stress ball, you will need:

• 3 (9 inch) balloons of the same color
• 1/2 - 2/3 cup of flour
• small or medium-sized funnel
• teaspoon or small scoop to put flour into funnel
• popsicle stick or pencil to push flour through funnel
• permanent marker
• yarn to create hair
• scissors for balloons & yarn

Step 1 - Carefully stretch and inflate balloon #1 
like you normally would, but do not twist or tie 
into a knot. Slowly release all of the air from the balloon. Repeat step 1 before moving onto step 2.

Step 2 - Carefully insert the funnel into the 

opening of the balloon that you have stretched. Spoon/scoop small amounts of flour into funnel 

until enough flour has filled the balloon to form 

a stress ball that fits comfortably into the palm 

of your hand.

Step 3 - Carefully holding balloon #1 in one 
hand, stretch it just enough to remove the 
neck of the balloon with scissors. 

Step 4 - Carefully stretch and inflate balloon #2 
like you normally would, but do not twist or tie 
into a knot. Slowly release all of the air from the balloon. Repeat step 4 before moving onto step 5. 

Step 5 - Carefully remove the neck of balloon #2 with scissors before slowly stretching it over the opening of balloon #1.

Step 6 - Carefully stretch and inflate balloon #3 
like you normally would, but do not twist or tie 
into a knot. Slowly release all of the air from the balloon. Repeat step 6 before moving onto step 7. 

Step 7 - Carefully stretch the opening and neck 
of balloon #3 over the opening of balloon #2. 
Then, twist the neck of balloon #3 and tie it into 
a knot.

Step 8 - Decorate your stress ball by using the permanent marker to make a face on it. You can also, use yarn to make hair and tie it around the knot end of your stress ball.

Most of the DIY* instructions that I found for making a balloon and flour stress ball want you to funnel the flour into a dry 20-ounce water bottle, then attach it to the balloon. If you desire visual instructions, here is a site that offers a step-by-step process, similar to my written instructions for you to check out.

*Do-It-Yourself

We Are Going on a Trip and We Want YOU to Join Us!

I hope that you are interested in taking a few FREE virtual field trips to locations around the world! I can now say that I have toured the U.S. Space and Rocket Museum in Huntsville, AL; been to the planet Mars; visited the Great Wall of China; and seen The Louvre in Paris, France! You can choose which links that you want to check out, or you can visit them all!! Enjoy your virtual field trips and be sure to share which was your favorite in the comment section below! 

Your friend,

Lorrie
#CelebratingAutismAwarenessMonth

(Click on colored text for links. Safe Travels!)

The San Diego Zoo has a website just for kids that offers an
alphabetical listing of animals, amazing videos, activities,
and games to check out. Enjoy the tour!

Visit the Yellowstone National Park -
Mud Volcano, Mammoth Hot Springs, and so much more.
Tour Yellowstone National Park!

Curious about life on another planet?
Explore the surface of Mars on the Curiosity Rover.
They are updating from WEBVR to WEBXR now,
but 360 Mode offers a digital view!

Live Cams at the San Diego Zoo Monterey Bay Aquarium live cams
Panda Cam at Zoo Atlanta 6 Animal Cams at Houston Zoo
Georgia Aquarium has Jellyfish, Beluga Whales, and more!


Check out this Virtual Farm Tour -
This Canadian site FarmFood 360 offers 11 Virtual Tours of
farms from minks, pigs, and cows, to apples and eggs.

Visit the U.S. Space and Rocket Museum in Huntsville, AL -
See the Saturn 5 Rocket on YouTube and more on this tour
thanks to a real father/son outing.

Discovery Education Virtual Field Trips - A few of the field trip topics 
include Polar Bears and the Tundra 
Social Emotional Skills 
STEM manufacturing

Experience The Louvre - Travel to Paris, France to see the
amazing works of art at The Louvre with this virtual field trip!

Visit the Great Wall of China - This Virtual Tour of the
Great Wall of China is beautiful and makes history come to life.

Check out the Boston Children's Museum - Walk through the
Boston Children's Museum thanks to Google Maps!
This virtual tour allows kids to explore 3 floors of fun.

May You and Your Family Enjoy a Blessed Easter Sunday!

There is no doubt that this Easter will be different from any other we have experienced prior to this health crisis. Even though we have to celebrate from our homes, we can still offer our gratitude and praise for God sending His Son, Jesus Christ, down to Earth to die for our sins then for Christ's Resurrection on the third day, no matter where we are! We can choose to make new memories with our families, possibly starting a new family tradition, as we celebrate our Lord's Resurrection!!

Do YOU Have Pockets of Patience?!?

Hello! I can imagine what you are thinking. You just clicked on a link to read my next post and you arrive to only find a few lines. In an effort to spend some quality time with my own family this evening, I decided that I would share a post that I wrote several years ago during #AutismAwarenessMonth. Please enjoy reading Pockets of Patience and #share it with a member in your family, a friend, or someone you met in an online parenting community who can use the encouragement to hang in there. Thank you for your continued support!

Making Time for Self-Care is Important for Your Mental and Physical Health

Hello, friends!

I promise to keep this post short, sweet, and simple. I hope that you will enjoy it and #share it with someone that you know on social media in support of #AutismAwarenessMonth. Thank you!

Lorrie

Take Care of Yourself

Make time for yourself. Self-care is an important part of happiness and health, and a happy, healthy parent can care for a child much better than a stressed-out, overtaxed parent. You will need a family member, close friend, or available respite care provider that you can depend on to take care of your child so that you can have some time by yourself. 

Being a parent of a child with autism spectrum disorders, or any other special needs, is extremely difficult work, very stressful, physically taxing, and emotionally draining. Do not be afraid or hesitate when asking for help! Everyone needs to be able to take a break and enjoy some "me time" to ensure their mental health needs are being met.

As you learn what routine works for your child, you, and the rest of your family, things will eventually become easier for everyone. A few hours or an afternoon once a week will give you the opportunity to focus on your needs and the ability to stay in contact with the world outside the new one that your child lives in. You will learn to appreciate being able to do simple things such as drinking a good cup of coffee or tea on the patio, catching up on your favorite television series or drama, working a puzzle or a crossword challenge, or enjoying a much needed afternoon nap.

You might also want to consider joining a local autism support group or an online community that offers parent advice, support, and friendship. Please let me know if you need assistance locating one in your area. 

Take care of your self so that you can continue taking care of your family! I am going to enjoy my favorite cup of orange-flavored tea, before telling each son and my husband that I love them, and get a good night's sleep. There will be no alarms set in my household to wake us up in the morning because our teenage sons do not have distance learning on Fridays! #CelebratingTheSmallThingsInLife :)

Sharing How Our Journey Started in Support of Autism Awareness Month

Nathan was almost five (5) years old when he was finally diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). That was twelve years ago, and Nathan could have received a diagnosis several years earlier if our pediatrician had only given us the referrals to specialists that we had requested. Shortly after Nathan turned eighteen months old, he started exhibiting symptoms of not responding to his name, wanting to go off to play with his toys by himself, and using a very loud voice when he decided he wanted something. He was barely two years old when he had to have his second set of ear tubes put in due to his first set of tubes falling out too soon. My husband and I were confused because even though we knew that our pediatrician was helping to resolve our son's ear infections, he would casually offer excuses such as  "it's normal for a boy his age to be distracted with a toy that he's playing with" or "he will outgrow that behavior in time" whenever we expressed our concerns about our son's behavior. We tried to accept his quick explanations, but we knew that there that there had to be another explanation for our young son's behavior. 

Nathan's slightly older brother, Vincent, had done well in PreK-2 and was a very attentive student in PreK-3 when Nathan started PreK-2 at the same private church school. Nathan was easily distracted by everything around him, wasn't able to focus for more than 15 minutes at a time, and would run around in circles laughing at everything that was said to him. He had a very understanding and patient teacher who would let me come in to help with arts and crafts to give her a break once in a while. It was even more difficult when he started PreK-3 the next year. I am not sure why the private school let his PreK-3 teacher keep her toddler son, who was younger than Nathan, in her class. It was a combination of her being a young mother, no teaching experience, and having Nathan "performing" for the class constantly that made it difficult for that class to get anything accomplished. He spent a good percentage of his time in my classroom next door. I had just been hired six weeks after the school year had started to split the PreK-4 because the enrollment was over-whelming for the one teacher they had in place for that age group. I was ecstatic about being near both of my young boys during the day. Working with the 4-year-old students was a bonus, but having Nathan in my class was a distraction when it came to the students trying to complete class assignments. I couldn't understand why she and a few other teachers were always telling me he was "bad" or that I needed to "discipline" him more. I was concerned that because he was different than his classmates that they would hold it against him instead of trying to work with him. We barely made it through the remainder of the school year. 

I tried to talk with my pediatrician about the way that Nathan was behaving, but he convinced me it was the ear infections that were his only trouble. The poor child had to have a third set of ear tubes to allow his ears to function properly against the unruly seasonal allergies that he inherited from me. His older brother, Vincent, had just had to have his first set of ear tubes. I tried to believe what the pediatrician was saying to me but, something was telling me that there was more to why my son was reacting to certain situations the way he did. There was a child with autism that went missing that Father's Day from the trailer park located next to our church. He was about Nathan's age and many of us church members were out searching for him in lieu of attending the Sunday morning church service. I did not know much of anything about autism except from watching a movie called Mercury Rising that I had watched almost 10 years ago. I did an internet search on autism and what I was reading made me start to cry. The missing boy was found safe later that day but, the concerns that I had expressed to the pediatrician were at the surface and stronger than ever.

I felt as if I was repeatedly hitting my head against a brick wall with my son's pediatrician. He was a well-trained professional in the medical field and had proven himself to our family repeatedly when it came to resolving the ear infections with both boys, as well as with Vincent when he needed to see a Urologist later that winter. What I couldn't quite understand was why my 4-year-old son wasn't adjusting to school or anything else that we tried. What was I doing wrong and what could I do to help him? He was actually getting worse. I sometimes couldn't take him into a store, regardless of the size or type of store, without him screaming and hitting himself. The looks and comments that we would get, from people around us when he would start doing this, were unsettling. It would range from "is your little boy okay, did he get hurt" almost in an accusing tone of voice to "you should really try to make your kid behave" like I was the type of parent to let my child do whatever they wanted with no regard to society. It made me mad that someone who didn't even know my family, or how different my son was from anyone they knew, could give me advice on my child! I knew very well that Nathan was like no other child that I had known but, I hadn't been able to figure him out.

We tried PreK-4 the next year but, he spent most of  the time back and forth between my classroom and the office where his teacher would send him when he was "bad". I was having a hard time concentrating on my class knowing that my own child was suffering because he couldn't find his place in our world. I decided to give my notice of resignation so that I could spend the time needed to focus on getting Nathan whatever he needed. The school was far from understanding and made us find another school for our Kindergartener, Vincent. It was a difficult adjustment for our almost 6-year-old son to change schools and make new friends but, he did quite well. While preparing for the holidays that fall, I spent a lot of time on the phone and the computer looking for answers to Nathan. I knew that our family needed to find out what we could about what was bothering Nathan so that we could help him and it needed to be quick! With him needing to be ready for Kindergarten in less than a year, it would take a miracle.

I finally decided to contact our public school system Board of Education for any ideas on what I could do if I thought my son needed testing. They informed me that they could test him, but it would be sometime after the first of the upcoming year before they could get to him. That was still better than what I had been able to get up to this point on my own. I just had to be patient, and continue working with Nathan just like I had been all along. It gave me hope that we might finally receive the answers we were looking for to help Nathan, but it seemed like the next two months took forever to pass. As I hurried to get everyone ready for school on the morning of our appointment, I was overwhelmed with the anticipation of not knowing what to expect. I was a bundle of raw nerves, and I had a side of "I don't know what" bouncing around, holding my hand as we entered the Board of Education for our appointment that day. It would be safe for me to say that the wonderful people whom we met that day weren't quite sure what to think of this frazzled, but very protective mom and her young rambunctious son.

At the first of three appointments, we were asked a lot of questions about how he acted, reacted and behaved in general to certain situations. His eyesight was tested, and when they brought Nathan back into the room, they said that the test was "inconclusive". They weren't sure what to make of it, but Nathan would need to be examined by an eye doctor that specialized in the testing of young children before the Board of Education could finish their testing on him. I was so frustrated that all I wanted to do was cry! What was wrong with my baby? Surely he wasn't blind because he wasn't bumping into things. So, of course, I made the appointment to get Nathan's eyes checked immediately. After the optometrist was finished testing him, we found out that Nathan couldn't see up close or far away, and the prescription lens that he needed for his eyeglasses was very thick, almost like the bottom of a glass soda bottle! That explained why he always came back frustrated when we would ask him to go get his shoes or bring something to us. He could barely see what was in front of him! I ordered the glasses before leaving the specialist's office, and they told us that we would have them in about a week because they were being made as a special order for Nathan. Then, I called the Board of Education to let them know so we could set the next appointment to continue with Nathan's testing. It would be approximately five (5) weeks before we would be able to start getting any answers. During that time, I was given a form that Nathan's pediatrician needed to complete and fax back to the Board of Education. It asked questions of Nathan's behavior and what had been observed by the pediatrician. It was not completed, as requested, even with me dropping it off in person, and checking back on its status, every week before my next scheduled appointment for Nathan's testing with the Board of Education. This was the only reason that they turned us away and why we had to re-schedule for almost a month later. As Nathan and I were walking back to the car, the pediatrician's office called to say that the completed form had just been faxed, more than half an hour after our appointment was scheduled for! By this time I was livid, my heart was racing, and all that I could think about when I looked into Nathan's eyes was that we were almost there...the answers were in our grasp, and the wretched doctor had caused our appointment to be postponed, but we weren't going to let him win!!

Our final appointment came and on that morning, we got ourselves ready for what we knew would be the beginning of a new journey as a family. We would finally have something to work with...an answer to what it was that made Nathan unique. I suspected it might be autism, but when I heard them say it aloud, it was hard for me to accept. The school psychologists explained that even though Nathan was extremely intelligent, he had problems with social skills and that we would have to work with him. The individuals that evaluated Nathan explained to me that he was "high-functioning" and that I should look up Asperger's Syndrome because it would better describe his disorder, as opposed to the generalized term of autism. I spent the rest of the day playing with Nathan until we picked up his brother, Vincent, from school. Then after dinner, I spent the entire evening researching on the internet. I was finding out that 1 in every 150 children was diagnosed with a form of autism spectrum disorders, something like 1 out of every 70 boys were being diagnosed with autism, and every 20 minutes a parent was being told that their precious child had autism! I eventually ended up back on a website called Autism Speaks, which offered a 100-day kit to those families with someone they loved recently diagnosed with autism. Even though it took several days, or longer in some cases, for our family and friends to come to emotional grips with Nathan's diagnosis, we had already started our journey to becoming a stronger family.