What Does An Indoor Voice Sound Like?

     I want to apologize for not posting yesterday in support of Autism Awareness. I was exhausted after substitute teaching first grade yesterday, guiding Nathan and his fourth grade brother towards the car, socializing with their friends after we arrived home & then making dinner for the guys. I'm not as young as I once was and I am learning my limitations. This post was inspired by something that affects our household daily. I hope you enjoy this tiny morsel that I have to share.

     There was a time that it always seemed too quiet in the house. Without a doubt, that was before Nathan! My daughter used to play with her Barbies and other dolls for hours in her room without making a noise. Her brother came along almost three and a half years later & he was a quiet child, also. They argued, fought and screamed at each other like any siblings would but, the volume of their voices changed appropriately. Even though he is quite a bit younger than his siblings, my middle son has a voice and isn't afraid to use it when he needs to. It is Nathan, our youngest son, that has never had an indoor voice. The volume control on his internal remote is stuck on "boom" which makes it hard to hear anyone or anything else. If he says something to you and you don't answer right away, he only gets louder by the minute! I constantly find myself using hand signals to remind him to "turn" it "down" and talk more quietly. Controlling the volume of his voice is difficult for him. 
     
     We are not exactly sure why he talks so loud but, it could be connected to the frequent ear infections that Nathan used to have. Fluid would build up in the air pockets behind each of his eardrums because it wouldn't drain like it should & unfortunately lead to ear infections. He would barely finish his ten days of antibiotics before another infection would set in on the opposite ear. He has had four sets of ear tubes and when we went to the doctor the other day we were told that the tube in his right ear has moved out of place. This would explain why his ear isn't draining like it should. Unfortunately, Nathan has inherited my seasonal allergies and just can't catch a break! 

     While your enjoying lunch tomorrow with your family, please keep us in your prayers. Our family will be celebrating Easter at church tomorrow morning, during lunch at Nathan's Grandmas and afterwards. With all of the excitement that goes with family gatherings, lurks meltdowns and wanderings which always try to catch us unawares. We hope you have a SAFE and AWEsome Easter weekend!! I will be returning soon and working towards ... more tidbits and efforts of raising Autism Awareness! 

Nathan Gets the Green Light

     Nathan and I saw the Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist this morning to see if he would release Nathan from the current P.E. restriction that was in place. One morning in February, Nathan had woken up with pain in both legs and couldn't stand or walk. After our family doctor's office ordered numerous x-rays and blood work, we were given a referral to see a Specialist. We had a few more x-rays and more blood work before returning the next week to see our new friend, the Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist. He had informed us that the elevated Creatine Kinase (CK) level had come down, Nathan's hips were healing and he could have his recesses back but, not P.E. just yet.
     The nurse showed us to our exam room and gave Nathan what he calls his "sexy shorts" to put on. These are disposable shorts patients wear during the exam and in case the doctor wants x-rays. I'm just relieved that Nathan didn't perform the "M & M candy dance" and start singing "I'm sexy and I know it" from the television commercial. There are small miracles that I have learned to appreciate! When the Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist came in, he greeted us and asked if Nathan had enjoyed the day camp during Spring Break. Nathan told him everything that he enjoyed from camp and then the Specialist was able to ask him about his legs. Since he had not had any fever or reoccurring pain or weakness in his legs, Nathan could rejoin his classmates for P.E. class twice a week. That was the best news an almost nine year old could hear because he has P.E. on Thursday and Friday. The Specialist told us that unless Nathan spiked a fever and/or had similar leg pain, we were released back to our regular family doctor. That is a whole other story and since I have to substitute teach in first grade tomorrow, I had better get some sleep! Have a AWESOME Friday and I will be back tomorrow night sharing more "Autism Awareness".

Pockets Of Patience!

     We have come a long way since Nathan used to hit himself with both hands and scream at the top of his lungs when we would go out in public. I learned to make shorter grocery lists, top off the car's gas tank every few days and put myself in "time out" every chance I got! That may sound weird to someone who doesn't know about autism and behavior but, it was what helped me survive the earlier days just before, during and right after Nathan was diagnosed with autism. I had to learn to make the necessary adjustments to help my child cope with his surroundings. It never worked the same way twice. I had to be creative in making him think what I was doing was his idea. 

     

To remind Nathan that we are all human, I will give him updates on my patience levels. This is probably not what you expected to hear but, it has worked for me. All of my kids like to play those handheld games by Nintendo that tell you how much battery you have left before you have to plug it in to re-charge them. Well, I decided to use that same concept but, with my patience. To start the day out I would always wear something with at least four pockets such as jeans or slacks and a scrub top. Each pocket equaled one warning or one quarter of my patience. Imagine what kind of looks I received when I would tell my son "Oh, that pocket is empty! Let me check to see if we'll be able to earn that trip to McDonald's. Whew! I think that we're okay...we still have three pockets of patience!" Most people would look at me as if I were crazy and what they didn't know was that I used this technique so that I wouldn't end up losing my sanity. 

     When I was a lot younger, I used to care what people thought or said about me. I have gotten past that with Nathan's help. If it wasn't for him, I would probably still be the uptight, miss goody two shoes that I used to be. Having a child with autism will turn your world upside down and inside out like you would have never imagined. Helping the world to adjust to Nathan's invisible disability has opened so many doors for me to talk to others about autism. Just because you can't see my son's "autism" doesn't mean that it's not there! Nathan is a very lucky young man to have such wonderful teachers and classmates that give him the "patience" that he needs. He knows how it feels to have someone make fun of him, realize that he was talked into doing something he knows is wrong or get frustrated when his schedule has been changed. It has been quite a learning experience for all of us.

     Today, I picked up Nathan and his brother before school let out. The poor things have my seasonal allergies! They have been coughing, sneezing and then started complaining of their ears bothering them. When I made an appointment for them to see the doctor, I convinced myself that I should get checked out, as well. I have had a bad cough for more than a week and don't have much of a voice. I will take the children to the doctor when what they are suffering from is not fixed by my normal over-the-counter remedies but, when it comes to me, I usually just ignore whatever is ailing me. I realized that I was not providing a good example for my children. They need to believe and trust that doctors will make you feel better. 

     While we were waiting in the exam room, both of the boys were getting restless which was in turn causing me to run out of patience. I immediately asked them to calm down and then reminded them that if they still wanted an Icee drink that they would have to straighten up. It worked for about two seconds and they were bouncing off the walls again. I was trying to remind myself that "boys will be boys" and "it's hard for kids to sit still at their age" but, they kept getting louder than they were before. I had no where to escape to place myself in time out and decided to use my pockets. I asked Nathan and his brother to look at my left front pocket as I pulled it inside out. They started to look at me as if I had lost my mind. I then started checking my right front pocket and casually stated that I hoped it wasn't empty. It wasn't until I already had the second pocket turned inside out that I saw Nathan's wheels move into overdrive. He had associated the old game we used to play back into existence and told his brother that if they were good they would get the Icee drink they wanted! The doctor even complimented them on their behavior and I reminded them that "caught being good" is something that we all want to be recognized for!

Raising Autism Awareness in April!

     I am extremely honored to announce that Our Parenting Spot has invited me to return as a Featured Guest Writer for the next two weeks starting on April 3rd which is World Autism Awareness Day! Our Parenting Spot is a special online parenting community that offers advice, support and friendship to everyone. Please stop by to read my Featured Guest Article Autism "How-To" Guide for Parents and leave a comment. If you know another parent whose child has been recently diagnosed with Autism, or possibly thinks their child might need to be evaluated, please share this with them!                                                                                                               

                                                                                                     Lorrie

Happy World Autism Awareness Day!

     I am happy to have been asked to write a Guest Blog for My Town Tutors in celebration of World Autism Awareness Day which is today, April 2, 2012. I encourage you to take a moment to read my post at My Town Tutors in support of Autism Awareness and then browse their site. 
     Thank you for joining us in shining a light on autism during the month of April!

30 Days of Autism Challenge

I've been given a new opportunity to join a wonderful group of bloggers for the 30 Days of Autism Challenge! I am new at this sort of thing but, I am looking forward to the challenge! Please get to know each of these great parents as we raise Autism Awareness throughout the month of April!! 
                                                                                                                                      Lorrie

Nathan's Voice would like to introduce the following bloggers:

30 Days of Autism | Leah Kelley

7 Yuckmouths and Autism

Aspergers Rules

C Gregory Run

Caden's Tale

Just Bring the Chocolate

Kat's Cafe

Life is a Puzzle

Lost and Tired

Making Time for Mom

Special Happens

Autism from a Father's Point of View

Stuck on Shelby

Autism, Behavior and Our Children

     Autism is a disorder that affects 1 in 88 children, 1 in 54 boys and a child is diagnosed every 20 minutes. Autism impairs the development of a child's social behavior and communication, which means he or she will need the support of the people who love them. It is a journey that definitely is nothing like you would have ever imagined.

     My child has had a very difficult time when it comes to interacting with others. It is hard for him to accept that anyone else might have anything important to talk about. He has had plenty of problems at school, making or keeping friends and he has probably created an imaginary friend to make up for the lack of having any real friends. My child's teachers and I have been coaching him on how to listen to his friends, to try to remember something about what each of them likes and talk more with his friends about their favorite things. He has made wonderful progress over the past four years and, with daily encouragement, he continues to make an effort. 

     Another area that children with autism have trouble with is making eye contact with anyone. Our son would become extremely frustrated when we asked him to look at us, when we were talking to him. He would lash out at anyone who would try to console him, then, he would run out of the room screaming at the top of his lungs. It was very aggravating to watch my child as he struggled to communicate his wants and needs. During that particular time, he was overly obsessed with a red savings card from a local pharmacy and he would dig through my purse to find it. I creatively used it to help him focus on conversations, in school and on good behavior. He has improved remarkably and since graduated from that little red savings card to the intriguing world of collecting Pokemon trading cards. He eventually began to ask us for a trip to the store so he could have another package of Pokemon cards, in exchange for learning to self-regulate his behavior. It's an amazing feeling to realize the child that was diagnosed with autism has been replaced with an older, much more mature version. 

     If you asked my child what bothers him the most, he would tell you that it would be having his routine messed with. He has little patience with anyone that keeps him from his daily rituals. When he has homework after school, it is the only thing that is on his mind. If I need to go to the grocery store, I have prepared a list of the items, so that we can get them and get back home as quickly as possible. He complains the whole time, as I hurriedly pick up just the items I really need. My child does not handle disruptions in his routine very well. It's not as bad as it used to be. Anytime that we needed to go to the store, before and right after he was diagnosed, he would hit himself with both hands and scream. It was not easy for him to transition from one environment to another. Today, he may talk to himself but, it is not as embarrassing as it used to be. He understands, that if I don't go to the store once in a while, he won't have the things he wants like milk, chocolate syrup and shells 'n cheese. 

     I have learned that, even now, I have to watch how I say certain things around my child. He is very particular in how he is spoken to. The tone of my voice means everything to him. If he is irritated, misunderstands or feels threatened by anything said to him, you had better be ready! My child is a prime example of the saying "for every action, there is a re-action". Where he has the most problem with this is at school. If I am not present when something happens with, to, or around my child, I have to depend on his teachers to handle it, and in a way that they don't continue to upset him. Luckily, almost all of the teachers, that he comes in contact with, have experienced my child at his worst, and have learned when to remove him from the situation before he loses control.  

     Join us in April as we celebrate Autism Awareness Month to shine a bright light on Autism! Nathan's Voice will be sharing in an effort to raise Autism Awareness, Understanding and Acceptance in our communities, local and online. Feel free to browse our site and leave comments. Have a great weekend!