Our Newest Featured Guest Blogger is Amalia Starr, Autism Motivational Speaker, Independent Living Coach and Author. Please enjoy her post and feel free to leave a comment or question below for Amalia.
Lorrie
If your
child was recently diagnosed with autism, it is important to be aware that
negative feelings will arise. Try not to get attached to those feelings, do not
numb them out, and do not bury them. They will shift over time. Remember, it is
a process. We are all different, but I have found that surrendering to
"what is" helps one to move through the acceptance stage more
quickly, as resistance to "what is" will only prolong it. When you
are able to face the diagnosis head-on, the negative feelings will begin to fade
away, and acceptance is right around the corner.
1. Gather as much information as possible.
2. Join
support groups.
3. Talk
about your child's disability.
4. Keep
a journal, and write down anything and everything.
5. Find
one person you can share your inner-most feelings with.
6. When
you are ready, talk to other parents. They can be a great source of information
and support.
7. Try
to live in the present moment, whenever you can.
8. Be
courageous, and believe in yourself.
9. Trust
your feelings.
10. Be
kind to yourself.
Do not
keep secrets, especially about a health condition. It causes more harm than
good.
My son,
Brandon was diagnosed with epilepsy and learning disorders at age nine. The
pediatric neurologist told us to tell no one, including Brandon, that he had epilepsy, due to the
stigma attached. For several years, I did what she said. That was one of the
worst things I could have done.
I know
from personal experience, that when our children are helped at an early age,
they have a much better chance of changing negative behaviors, improving
performance, increasing self-acceptance, and self-esteem. However, if you
missed that opportunity, as I did with Brandon, do not give up. We did not find out Brandon had autism until he was thirty-two
years old. Early intervention is key but, I know firsthand it's never too late
to get help.
A) What
I wish I knew early on about having a child with special needs:
1. Do
not take it personally.
2. It
is not your fault.
3. The
sooner you give up resistance, the sooner you can help your child.
4. Trust yourself.
5. When
traditional treatments are not working, look into alternatives.
6. Doctors are not always right.
7. Find
a physician you and your child like, and who understands your situation.
8. Acceptance comes only when you are ready.
9. Take
care of yourself first, and you will have more to give.
10. Get
as much help, assistance and support from people who care, as often as
possible.
11.
Hold onto HOPE, and never let it go.
As
parents, we must remember raising a child with special needs is a process.
There may be days when we do not know how we can hang on, but somehow we make
it through. The tools I found to be the most helpful were living in the moment,
and having hope.
When we
live in the moment, not out into the future, it helps to eliminate fear and
anxiety. I also found that holding onto hope was not a luxury, it was a
necessity.
Amalia
Starr is a Mother, Motivational Speaker, Author and Independent Living Coach.
Starr's youngest son, Brandon, is thirty-nine years old. He has autism,
intractable epilepsy, and severe learning disorders. The professionals who
worked with Brandon said he would never be able to live alone. They were
wrong. Brandon has been living on his own for the
past fourteen years, enjoying his independence. There is HOPE!
For
more information on how to help your child with special needs reach his or her
full potential please visit: http://www.AmaliaStarr.com, and accept Amalia’s offer of a free phone consultation.
